圖片來自網絡

I (30F) am a white American woman. My ex-boyfriend, the father of my daughter (30M) is Chinese-American. We began dating our junior year of college, and after graduation moved in together. We eventually got serious enough to consider marriage, and I began learning Chinese as a way of connecting to his culture and family. I''m not totally fluent, but I can hold fairly complex conversations.

我是一個三十歲的美國白人女性,而我的前男友,我女孩她爹,則是一個30歲的美國華人。我們從大學三年級時開始約會,畢業后便搬到了一起住。我們的關系曾發展到了開始認真考慮結婚的地步,而我也從那時候開始學習中文,我把學習中文看成一種與他的文化和家庭相連的方式。我的中文并不是很流利,但是我能進行相當復雜的對話。


Something I was very cognizant of, once I realized that I was going to be single-parenting, was that I was going to be a white mother with a child of color, raising her with very little contact with her Chinese family. I know that many children in this scenario can struggle with cultural identity, and I wanted to do what I could to ensure that my daughter isn''t totally disconnected from her Chinese roots. I made sure to keep up my Chinese language skills, learned to cook Chinese dishes, and – when my daughter was born – made sure to take her to Chinese cultural events and things like that.

我很快意識自己將獨自撫養自己的女兒,我將成為一個有色孩子的白人母親,我將在很少接觸到她的華人家族的情況下撫養她成人。我知道許多身處這種情況下的孩子都會面臨一些文化身份認同危機,所以我想做一些事情以確保我的女兒并不是完全地脫離了她的中國根源。我確保自己的中文不會荒廢,學會了做中國菜,而當我的女兒出生以后,我還會帶她參加中國文化活動以及其他一些類似的事情。


Last time her father visited, though, he was very upset to see those workbooks in my home. He told me that Chinese culture isn''t mine to impart on my daughter, and that any form of Chinese culture I try to engage in with my daughter will be completely unauthentic. He said that, though DNA-wise my daughter is Chinese, she functionally has no real cultural connection to China, and that it''s super cringey of me to try. He told me to stop, and that it should be his decision, as it''s his culture.

然而,上次她老爹過來拜訪時,看見了我家中的那些練習本,他很不高興。他告訴我,我沒有權利傳授我女兒中國文化,而且還說我向女兒灌輸的任何形式的中國文化都是完全不真實的。他說雖然我的女兒在基因層面是個中國人,但是她實際上與中國沒有真正的文化聯系,而我向她傳授中國文化的行為實在是太讓人尷尬了。他讓我停止這么做,因為是否向女兒傳授中國文化本該由他來決定,因為這是他的文化。


Idk. AITA?

我不知道了,這么做的我是否是個混蛋?